Fandoms ::

  :: Home

Nightmares

Summary : Nick is having trouble sleeping
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : Nick Stokes / Sara Sidle
Disclaimer : None of the characters are mine. If they were, they'd be naked a lot more often.

Author's Notes : My first CSI fic. And yes, it's cos I had a bad nightmare and figured that if the show can do that to me, the job must be able to do it to the characters.

Nick looked at the clock and yawned. He knew he had to get some sleep – he was on duty later that day. Grissom always seemed to know when one of them was feeling tired and that person always got the worst assignments. But no matter what he tried, Nick had not been sleeping well. He was having some pretty bad dreams and was actually starting to get scared of going to sleep.

He'd never suffered from nightmares before, even as a kid, but doing the job he did, he'd always expected them. But when he started seeing dead colleagues when he closed his eyes, he knew that the situation was getting out of control.

He yawned again and wiped his hands across his face. Maybe if he went to bed now he'd be so tired that he'd sleep better. Walking into his bedroom, he pulled his t-shirt off over his head, unbuckled his jeans and let them fall to the floor. He switched the light out and lay on the bed, with his hands behind his head.

Lying there in the dark, he tried to make himself think of happy things – trying to influence the pattern of his dreams. He remembered the last time he'd gone home for thanksgiving, having dinner with his whole family. And when you've got 6 brothers and sisters, most of who are married with children, that's a heck of a lot of family. But Nick loved it. Being part of a large family was like always having someone to talk to. Or to confide in. Or share secrets with. He'd always been closest to his Mom, probably something to do with him being the youngest. And it was her that he'd told all about Sara. About how she gave up everything, including a social life, to be the best at her job. How he admired her for that. And how beautiful she looked, even when they were on the last leg of a triple shift. And how she had never given him more than a smile or two. And how she was in love with Grissom.

And his Mom, being his Mom, had told him that if a woman couldn't see all the love inside him, then she probably wasn't the right woman for him. For the first time, Nick had disagreed with her. Sara was the woman for him. He knew it as surely as he knew that the sun would set tomorrow, or that there would always be a need in this world for the job that they do. And his Mom had smiled at him. Perhaps, she had agreed, this woman may just be the one for you.

As his eyes grew heavy, Nick recalled how Sara had looked at him yesterday. She'd given him one of those rarely seen smiles over her shoulder as she'd walked away from him. She'd looked so pretty....

Less than an hour later, right on cue, he woke up from the middle of another nightmare. Sweating and shaking, all he wanted to do was get the images out of his head, but they kept replaying.

The dream had started out quite nice. He and Sara had gone for a picnic by the lake. It was a beautiful day and she'd been wearing a pretty summer dress. He'd left her for a moment to go and get some ice creams for the two of them, but when he'd returned, Sara had been lying there with stab wounds to her head and body, bleeding to death. In the dream, he'd dropped to his knees beside her, cradling her head, watching as her last breath left her body and she'd died in his arms.

He'd actually woken up crying this time. He saw so much violence every day, yet had always believed that he and the people around him were invulnerable. A dream like this showed him, once more, that they weren't. And for it to be Sara this time was worse than when the dreams had been about Catherine or Warrick. He cared for her so much that the thought of something bad happening to her broke his heart.

The dream had felt so real. He needed to reassure himself that it was only a dream. Reaching across the bed, he turned on his bedside lamp and picked up his cell phone. Dialling a number that he'd dialled so many times before, he waited for the familiar voice.

"Sidle."

Nick smiled, in spite of his feelings of impending doom. Even though he'd probably just woken her up, she still managed to sound alert.

"Sara, it's Nick."

"Nicky? What's up?"

He took a deep breath and decided to tell her about the dreams.

"I was worried about you. I've...um...been having these dreams. Nightmares," he added quickly before she got the wrong idea. "And I just had this feeling that something was wrong."

"Nightmares? You not sleeping?"

Sara had gone through a similar thing a few years back, when she was just starting out as a CSI. Every case she'd seen turned itself into a nightmare and for weeks she had not been able to sleep. For her, the only way to get through it was to talk about the dreams with a friend. She knew exactly what Nick was going through and also knew that he wouldn't be able to get over it as easily as she had. He was a lot more sensitive and caring. She had learnt how to control her feelings and emotions, but Nick was like an open book. He cared so much about everything, maybe too much sometimes.

"Do you want me to come round for a bit?"

"Are you sure? That would be great. Thanks Sara."

*

15 minutes later and Nick heard a knock on the door. She had a couple of coffees in her hands and he knew that one of them must be his latte. She gave him a broad smile and she followed him through to the living room.

She set the coffee down on the table and turned to look at Nick.

"I know how you feel", she told him, noticing the dark shadows around his eyes.

"It's just so hard. I want to sleep. I'm so tired. But every time I close my eyes I see Catherine lying dead. Or Warrick. Or you. And no matter what I do, I can't get those images out of my head. I feel like I'm going insane."

As he looked up at her, she could see tears starting to well in his eyes. Poor Nicky. He really needed someone to look after him. She wished that he would see that it should be her. She'd been in love with him from day one, but he never seemed interested. Hell, he seemed more interested in Catherine most of the time. But what she wanted and what he needed right now were almost the same thing. They just needed someone to be there.

She stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around him. She felt his arms tighten around her waist and knew that there was more to these nightmares than he was letting on. She was surprised at how good he felt to her. She'd often thought about holding him like this, but her fantasies had never come close to this feeling. She slipped her hand up to the back to his neck, letting her fingers stroke his hair.

"I'm here for you, you know," she whispered to him.

As Nick let himself relax for the first time in days, he began to wonder if maybe Sara did feel something for him. Holding each other like this felt so right. So perfect.

He took a deep breath. "Would you stay here? Today. With me?" he asked.

Sara's heart skipped a beat. "Of course I will."

The two of them reluctantly separated and they sat on the sofa, drinking their coffees in silence. In the last few moments something had changed dramatically in their relationship, and both of them knew that they had gone from being just colleagues to friends. Maybe something more.

Nick yawned again and looked at Sara apologetically.

"It's not your company," he grinned.

"I know. Look, lie down on the sofa and get a bit of sleep. I'll stay here with you. It may help ward the nightmares off."

As he stretched out on the sofa to get comfortable, she patted her lap.

"My Mom always had me sleep on her lap if I'd had a bad dream as a kid," she explained. "Maybe it will work for you."

He rested his head in her lap and felt her hand stroking his hair. One more yawn and he was drifting off.

Sara looked at him. He looked like a little boy when he was sleeping. Beautiful. She bent down and kissed the top of his head.

"Sleep tight Nicky."

*

He woke up with a start. For a moment, he wasn't sure where he was, until he heard Sara's voice.

"Good morning sleepy head."

He slowly sat up, looking at her.

"How long was I asleep for?"

She looked over at the clock.

"About 6 hours", she calculated.

"Crap. We'll be late for work." He jumped up and headed for the bathroom.

"Nick," she called after him. "It's the weekend. No work today. Remember?"

He realised that the last few days of no sleep had thrown out is internal body clock. He had no idea what day it was any more. He stopped to think about it and agreed that Sara was right.

Then he realised something else.

"You stayed there? For six hours?"

She smiled again at him and explained that not only had she found the remote for the TV and watched hours of the Discovery channel, but she'd actually been kind of tired herself and had dozed off for a while.

"So how did you sleep?"

"Wonderfully. No bad dreams. A few nice ones though", he said smiling at her.

"So I noticed", she replied pointedly, glancing up and down at him.

He looked down.

"Oh crap," he cringed and ran into the bathroom.

"Don't worry about it."

Nick was so embarrassed, so Sara tried to reassure him.

"It's nothing to worry about. In fact," she added, "I'm quite flattered."

"Thank you," he said to her. "For last night, I mean. I slept better than I have done in weeks. Maybe you should stay here more often," he joked.

"Maybe."

*

They decided to spend the day together. Or rather, the evening. One disadvantage to working the graveyard shift was the screwy social life. So, after stopping by Sara's apartment for her to grab a quick shower and a change of clothes, they headed to "Bella's", an Italian restaurant they both knew of.

Nick kept telling himself that this was not a date and that Sara was only staying around out of sympathy, but soon he wasn't sure if he was trying to convince himself or someone else.

Something had changed fundamentally between them during the last seven hours, and throughout the meal, they were acting more like a couple than friends. Nick offered Sara a taste of his pasta, which she accepted from his fork, and she kept leaning across the table to touch his arm when she spoke to him. Of course, every time she touched him, he felt a small charge of electricity between them, and wondered if she felt it to.

Which she did. Sara had never been good with relationships. Most of the time they scared her to death. But something about being with Nick felt right. Instead of feeling sick at the thought of having to spend the whole weekend with him, she felt excited. Giddy almost.

At the end of the meal, Nick turned to Sara.

"Do you want to come back to mine and watch a film or something?"

Part of her knew that she needed to get back to her place and do some of the chores that she always left until the weekend. But the larger part of her wanted to spend as much time with Nick as he was willing.

"As long as it's not a murder mystery," she replied.

"You don't have to stay with me anymore. I think I'm cured," he joked, praying that she wouldn't leave. The film had finished and they were both sitting in silence. He knew that he wanted her to stay. Hell, right now he wanted her to move in. But he knew that if there was any chance of their friendship turning into something better, he had to take it slowly. As far as relationships went, he was the more experienced, he knew that. But, despite the impression that his colleagues had of him, he took relationships very seriously. He wasn't like Warrick, in and out of bed with whichever woman took his fancy. He may flirt with a lot of women, but he didn't enter into relationships lightly. And he knew that one between him and Sara would be intense. And somewhat scary.

"Oh," Sara looked disappointed. Perhaps Nick really didn't want her around anymore.

"I didn't mean it like that."

He realised that it was the time to come clean. Admit how he felt.

"I'd like you to stay. I like having you around. I...I liked falling asleep with you."

"Nick...."

He reached his hand over, gently cupping her chin, and brought his lips towards her. The kiss was so feather-light that Sara could barely feel it. But she knew it had happened by the electricity coursing through her body. As he pulled away, she felt her own body leaning back towards him. She snaked her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. This time she returned the kiss.

"I've wanted to do that since the day I walked in on you and Warrick in the locker room", she explained. "You were so embarrassed and yet you still tried to have a conversation with me, pretending that you weren't walking around with no shirt on. You looked so cute."

Nick looked up in surprise. He knew that he'd fallen for Sara a long time ago, but he had no idea that she had felt the same way. They kissed again, this time more deeply. Sara's fingers intertwined through Nick's hair, sending shivers along his spine. In turn he stroke her face with his thumb, loving the softness of her skin.

As they broke apart, Nick cleared his throat.

"Will you stay here?"

"Tonight, you mean?"

"No. For good."